Wednesday, November 7, 2007

from The Journal

sms

To some it’s easy, for me, it’s not. But I did it because perhaps, it’s something I need to do.

There I was, in my bed, one late afternoon of a weekend. It was a day just like the day before that, and the day before. The next day, it will be just like that day, and that’s what I’m thinking about at first. What to do about it, what to do? Then my thoughts began to wonder. What have I done with my life, my dreams, my master plan? Who was it who said that one is getting old if his dreams are replaced by regrets? Regrets, I do have regrets. But I still have my dreams.

Then I thought about the things I did wrong, the people I let down. Then I thought about my dad. I have a lot of things to say to my dad but I couldn’t say them. You see, this father and son are not used to talking about emotional mumbo-jumbo, something that is fine by me. Then, it happened. I got my cell phone in hand, typed a short message, the things I need to say, things I really need to say. I had a discussion with myself if I should send it. But I did, I did pressed “send”. A minute passed, two minutes.

My cell beeped. A message from dad. You see, I received quiet a few messages in my phone everyday but that one meant a lot to me. Okay, okay, so it made my eyes watery, a drop of tear almost escaped. His message is something I know he couldn’t say personally too. That would be too mushy for both of us.

I erased his message immediately. I could imagine he did the same thing.

3 comments:

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greg said...

Its sad how fathers and sons aren't "allowed" to show affection in that way. Oh well, the important thing is knowing.

The trend in Italy is the opposite, I've been told. The affection part.